Ups and Downs

Greetings from the Ronald McDonald House. I have taken a short break from the hospital to retrieve some odds and ends I'll need for my night in my daughter's hospital room and to write a quick blog post. (The hospital rooms have no wifi, and while the rec room does, it's seldom quiet enough in there to write.)

Today went well overall. Vivian used her wheelchair and her walker, and she made two trips to the cafeteria and two trips outside. It was a mild day here, warm and breezy, so it did us all some good to sit in the shade and enjoy the weather. Vivian has shown herself to be a quick study of the wheelchair. Her powers of steering and self-propulsion are impressive! Even so, by the end of the day she was tired of sitting around but didn't want to lie down or walk, either. Eventually, the strain of the last few days caught up with her, and she broke down a little. We have had times like this before, of course, and I was anticipating it now, but, even so, it broke my heart. This is one of the hardest things, isn't it? when your child needs you so desperately and you are able to be strong for her, to get her through it, and then you are left with your own despair.

I tried to call a couple of people, but no one answered. The irony! I can't tell you how many messages of support I've gotten over the past couple of days, and then when I do try to reach out...no one's home. I'm not upset about it, only amused. It figures!

So I'm writing this blog entry.

My room at the Ronald McDonald House is really nice.

As you can see, there are two beds, and there's a couch in that back corner, a desk a bit closer, and out of the frame but next to the desk is a dresser. There's also a closet and a full bathroom. They call Ronald McDonald House "The House that Love Built," and as hokey as that sounds, you can feel the good-spiritedness and generosity and thoughtfulness that went into building this place.

Tonight we ordered Vietnamese food for dinner because we knew Vivi would like the pot stickers, fried tofu, and sticky rice. She did. For ourselves, Alex and I ordered lettuce bowls and some chicken-noodle salad. We should have stopped there. But, not knowing how huge the portions would be, we ordered a hot pot, too. Turns out, the hot pot alone was enough to feed 4 people (out of gigantic, non-hospital-issued bowls). We do not have giant bowls, and we are only two people. Said hot pot also turned out to be $35. Aargh! So here we are, in a small hospital room with a small fridge, and enough Vietnamese food for a family of 8. We also spent $75 on dinner. Tomorrow my cousins Jenny and Leon are coming to visit, and we will give them the gift of an untouched and certainly delicious hot pot to go! I hope they like tofu.

Vivian is having a tough time with the halo; conceptually and physically, it's not an easy thing to get used to. Sometimes, like when we were helping her to get x-rayed this morning or when I was cleaning the pin sites this afternoon, I feel faint myself. It's a lot, y'all--enough to make me assume a Southern colloquialism.

Well, I would like to write on and on, but I need to gather my things and get back to Miss Vivi. Lots of love to whoever's reading.